Foam Soapbox 2: Airsoft Vs. Well....just plain old soft

Let's not skirt past the issue. Airsoft is considered more professional and "mature" than Nerf by a lot of people. Just look on literally almost any acted Nerf war film on YouTube, and you'll see "tacticool 1337" types accusing anyone who strays near Nerf of being gay, a coward, or both. In fact, check it out for yourself. I'll be here when you get back.

See what I mean? Every other comment is just "UYSE AIRSOFT GUNZ U FAGETS", made by someone with a username like "CODPWNER420XxX". There's no questioning that airsoft has a fair share of mil-sim types, so maybe it is fair that they consider Nerf to be a little less than authentic for videos with an obvious warfare theme, but still, there's no reason to insult someone like that. If anything, I've seen Nerfers as passionate about realism as their pellet brethren, spouting things like "bullpup", and painting their blasters various shades of gunmetal (which I always thought was a bad idea, but hey, do what you want.). At the basis, Nerfers and airsoft junkies are one and the same: Guys who like running around with fake guns, firing synthetic rounds at each other like there's no tomorrow.  See? There's no true reason we can't get along, but we still can't. The thing is, since airsoft pellets hurt and go farther, they're marked as being for older people. Which, admittedly, isn't far from the truth.

You can't deny that Nerf is mostly marketed to the younger set, and we're just sort of peripheral to Hasbro.  Keep in mind, they are a TOY company. They're not going to make something that would get them sued, or something that you'd have to have a license or be 18 to buy. That means that Nerf is going to have to keep their blasters at a safe range and power. Meanwhile, airsoft makers are more slanted toward mil-sim or target guys, who are commonly adolescent to much older, so they figure they have enough responsibility (which, for testosterone ridden 16 year olds, is debatable) to handle guns that can hurt and go way farther than darts could dream of. They can also get full rights from arms makers to make everyone's beloved .3890 Glock Twilight Sparkle Model 34564.390 Sniper Pistol Rifle 2000 Tech as a "real" gun, since they have no qualms of marketing them as pretty much made for (fake) war, unlike Hasbro, who would rather not get too close to being a promoter of ridiculous violence (maybe to avoid lawsuits? I dunno, actually..). Airsoft guys also only have to deal with easy to propel, aerodynamic pellets, while Hasbro has to do a damn-near science experiment when they want to figure out how to make a dart go more than 10 feet.

Basically, it's like comparing two similar and equally good movies made on massively different budgets. You can't expect both to have everything you want at once. Airsoft can't be played indoors or in public, or just shot at anyone not in the fray without getting in trouble or getting your ass kicked. It also can't be toted around on campus, so no Humans Vs. Zombies for you. On the other hand, Nerf has much less range, has much more expensive ammo in terms of quantity versus cost, and doesn't seem as realistic (which is fine by me, but I know some of you dislike that). I've begun getting into airsoft, and I share a fond place for it in my heart with Nerf (and ponies, admittedly). I just see the two as equal, yet differently advantageous siblings.

So stop whining about it, you babies, and just go get some darts or pellets and have fun.

Foam Soapbox 1: In defense of the disk

ZombieStrike, has, of course, been revealed, and it seems a lot of people seem iffy about the use of Vortex in it, I just wanna say that I actually really like the idea. I consider the Vortex blasters to basically be the energy weapons of the Nerf family (eeeyup, I'm a complete geek). I admit that it makes a disk launcher much more Interesting when it's sort of visualized as a plasma gun or some crap. Now, after all that, you're probably still saying "But Nesbro, this is ZOMBIES! THE FUTURE ISN'T INVOLVED IN ZOMBIES!!!". now let me just say for the record: Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, calm the fuck down! I mean, this is that serious to you? But anyways, sure, vortex stuff is all alien like, but think of all the awesome things that blend cyberpunk with zombielike beings! Fallout! Doom! Something else I can't think of! All I'm saying is, it doesn't have to mess ul the theme, just use a little imagination, people!  It can make things more awesome!

..people were complaining about this, right? Right?.....right.

Wipeout Chalk Pistol review

Welp, another long-ass hiatus, but I at least have new stuff, soooooo, onward.

Price: I found and picked mine up at a general sporting goods store for 7.99, but I dunno where you can find it now, andnat what cost.
The first thing you'll notice is: "Oh hey, kinda looks like sci-fi...HOLY SHIT IS THE FIRING SOUND REALLY THAT LOUD!?
Range: Estimated 50ish feet, if you use suitable darts.

Ok, let's get one thing straight: this was originally a little paintball gun. Paintball guns, as you may know or assume, need a lot of kinetic energy to fire the ball a good distance. Therefore, this thing has some serious power behind it for a spring loaded single shot blaster. Basically, this was originally branded the SupaSplat (what a hip, ghetto name, ehh?), and a lot of people modded it to accept darts. Well, then it became the Wipeout blaster gun thing, and they premade it to shoot these weird, heavy chalk darts.

The thing is, the chalk darts don't go terribly far due to the weight of the dispenser on the end. But then replace the heavy darts with lighter, more aerodynamic ones, and.....You can't figure this one out?... Well, they go like a bat described in a certain Meatloaf song/certain cliched simile. FAST. The only thing is, those chalk darts also happen to have some seriously durable foam that was actually
MEANT to be shot from it, so using a standard, unintended Nerf dart results in the air pressure building a tight enough seal (I think, correct me if I'm wrong.) to literally split the dart down the middle. However, I noticed my BuzzBee darts survived a few uses and went the full distances before dying on me, so if you can find a cheap bucket of AirZone or BB darts for this, then have fun sniping your friends. Also, I dunno where else to put this, but this thing seriously HURTS at point blank, almost as bad as my dart-modded Titan (how could I resist?), so, as one of my favorite Toy Story quotes goes, "Plaaaaaaay nice!".

Cool factor: 10 (Basically, in the dart world, it's an anti-materiel pistol. How is that not awesome?)
Durability: 8 (Better than BuzzBee, but not as polished as Nerf.)
Range: 10 (I'd be afraid to mod this, for fear of it dismembering someone upon point blank impact. )
Price factor : 8.5 (Get a deal like me, and you're gold. Otherwise, it's a bit of a gray area, given the original price was around 20 bucks)
Overall: 9 (a nice looking blaster that shots darts ridiculously far and hard in stock condition. Elite, eat your heart out.)

Obligatory Nerf Maverick Review

What say we get started with the basics? To start, the Nerf Maverick was basically THE quintessential Nerf blaster for a long while. Many an office insurgent would proudly hold one of these inside their desk drawer, and every kid wanted one, or had one. It's very likely that most Nerfers started out with this exclusively (it only marked my descent into full-on obsession, not my introduction. My actual first was an Airtech 1000.). Eventually though, all good things must come to an end,  and the classic Mav was superseded by the Spectre, and eventually the Elite Strongarm, which is a very suitable succesor to the throne, even if it isn't as popular as the original king.

Yeah,you can tell I like the Mav a lot, but how can you blame me? It served as the great vessel for me to grow interested in projectile toys. But I digress, let's get to the nitty-gritty about this.

Price: Typically 9.99 or less for the standard yellow. Much more for the Clear, Sonic, or any other variations due to discontinuation. (Although at the Toys R Us locations near me, I've seen an abundance of Sonic Mavs for their regular price.)
Material: Plastic, hurr durr
Range: On its best shot, when using standard suction Micros, my old yellow Mav got approx. 30 to 32 feet.
Ammo: Any micro dart, including Elite darts.

The first thing you'll notice is: Wow, that's a big friggin' pistol.

The Nerf Maverick comes off as equal parts cowboy, and equal parts Hellboy. The appearence is very slick, making sort of a weird sci-fi western gun, but that weirdness doesn't keep its looks down. Unfortunately, both Ron Perlman and Wyatt Earp (and maybe Spike Spiegel, of he actually used a revolver.) would probably be ashamed of some of the Maverick's flukes. One of the advertised features is quick firing rate, but don't think you can fire off all 6 rounds faster than you can say "Put 'em up, sugarcu- err, pardner!", because trying too fast will make you go from future-western badass to rodeo clown trying to fiddle with a jammed kids toy in only a matter of a shot or two. This is primarily due to its firing mechanism. When you pull the trigger, it rotates the barrel around, for your next shot. Unfortunately, pulling it rapidly will make you instinctively not pull as hard when you try to be quick, causing misfires and general embarrassment as you get pelted with darts from the guy who is dual wielding Stampedes while you're just trying to fire one round. Conveniently,  both the Spectre and the Strongarm fix this issue, and the Strongarm even adds slamfire so you can actually seem like a hyper space cowboy without much gun trouble. I don't have much else to say about performance, so let's get to the final ratings.

The ratings:
Fun: 9 (Being the classic office war weapon of choice, and being very snazzy looking, it just feels fun to tote around while making John Wayne quotes.)

Cool Factor: 9 (As stated before, it's basically a space revolver that happens to be giant. That is all.)

Effectiveness: 7.5 (Over time, the internals tend to go out a little bit, making ranges rather inconsistent, and causing jams and misfires. The range isnt the most stellar to begin with (although the Whiteout Mav, which I unfortunately don't own, apparently has very nice ranges stock), and there is still a possibility of misfires even in a brand new Mav.)

Durability: 6 (2 of my old yellow ones broke fairly easily out of nowhere, and my still working one has issues with range and firing.)

Price: 5 (The price is good for a beginner blaster, but when you can get the Strongarm for nearly the same, it's just not terribly worth it anymore.)

Overall: 7.5 (The Maverick has served us Nerfers well for a good few years, but it feels that now is about the time to let her retire and let the Strongarm fill the place left behind for a beginner blaster.)

In conclusion, the Maverick's a fun, nostalgic blaster, but let's face it: the battlefield has changed. With Elite ranges and vastly superior rate of fire, anyone who only uses a Maverick in a war is bound to lose fairly quickly.

Return of something that returns: The returning

Yeah, I basically abandoned this blog for no reason aside from laziness. Not that anyone noticed, but whatever. A lot of crap has happened on the off time though. Not only has N-Strike Elite already thrown itself upon the projectile launcher world, but many other reveals have been made, like Rebelle, the very mysterious Nerf MEGA stuff (I suppose I must show consideration for the company that feeds me 99 percent of my foam intake, given they wish for the nerf community to not discuss it, so I won't go into more detail from here. Google it yerself.), and too many other exciting things to list.

I too, have had a lot of things happen. Among other things (including but not limited to, new friends, realizations about things, sudden enjoyment of miniscule multicolored equines, etc), I have acquired many more blasters to review, so this blog shouldn't be droughted too long.

Enjoy the attached picture of all the crap I have to review now, as I excuse myself to go spam my blog elsewhere so I can get readers.

Looking for guns (in alllll the wrong places)

On my hunts for random blasters on the internet and IRL, I've noticed them being in slightly odd places/stores you wouldn't expect. How so? well check these out a bit.

Cabela's doesn't have Nerf, but they seem to have an abundance of the new BuzzBee blasters, and a lot of other 3rd party things. http://www.cabelas.com/catalog/browse/hobbies-games-toys-shooting-toys/_/N-1101390/No-48/Ns-CATEGORY_SEQ_104565780?WTz_l=SBC%3BMMcat104799780&WTz_st=GuidedNav&WTz_stype=GNP

Dollar General DOES have Nerf, but it's pretty damn expensive sometimes. It's not on their website, but there are Mavs, Nitefinders, and Reflexes at mine. they also have BuzzBees, but only Double Shots, Tommy 12s, and refill bags it seems. http://www.dollargeneral.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12290228 
They also have a brand of pop-ish blasters, dunno how good those are, but they advertise 40 feet or so.

Jerm on Nerf Mods and Reviews apparently found some Nerf at Best Buy, but only Mavs, 'Cades, and Vortexes. http://www.nerfmodsreviews.com/2011/11/nerf-guns-at-best-buy.html

They do have sorta role-playish blasters and swords on Lego's site, and some they used to have were recasts of BuzzBees, including the (slightly) coveted Big Blast, but the site is working like shit for me, so I can't give a link.

If you know of any other weird places to find swag, please tell me so I can add them to this.

Review: Bionicle Ice Sword

 Material: Foam with holographic insert

 Range: N/A

Ammo: N/A

 The first thing you'll notice is: The badass shape and its pain potential.

Well, since I have no way of getting range calculation for any of my blasters since I'm too lazy to figure out how to test them, I may as well do *gasp* A MEEEEEEELEEEEEEEE REEEEEEVIEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!! So anyways, check this thingy out, it's kinda cool, with ok build quality. (Meaning that it's sorta nice foam with printing all over and holographic stuff on the inside.

So cool it has graffiti ink. B^(

BY THE POWER OF THIS WEIRD GRAFFITI, I HAVE A CHILDREN'S TOYYYYY!!!

Ha, not so smug now, huh Pilgrim?

 Anyways, I got this a while back when I was ordering Lego stuff. It was on sale, and I like violent but harmless objects, so this was right up my alley. Before I tell you much else, lemme say that this is one hard freaking sword. I hit myself a few times with it as a test (Because sword fights never seem to break out when your brothers are doing other stuff or are away at college.), and it hurt, about as much as light hit with a bat. You could bruise someone with this thing if you tried hard enough, so it's kinda dangerous.

Another noticeable thing is that it's kinda short. Yeah, this is huge to littler kids, but it seems like a weird dagger thing to older Nerfers, but it does still work well, being fairly fast and sturdy. Not much else to say aside from the fact that this is probably discontinued, so good luck finding one.

The ratings:
 Fun: 8.5 (After all, what is more fun than batting a friend or relative around with a semi-life size Bionicle weapon?)

 Cool Factor: 9 (it really does look like its Bionicle counterpart, so that's pretty cool.)

Effectiveness: 7 (it could get flimsy in a heated battle considering its not THAT durable.)

 Durability: 8.2 (not bad at all, better than the Shadow Fury and Thunder Fury, but potentially flimsy.)

Price: 10 (I got mine for around 6 or 4 dollars, but price may vary by now.)

Overall: 8.7 (It's cool, and not a bad little sword, but take care hitting it.)